Yet more anger

Matthew 5:43-44 - You've heard it said "Love your neighbors" and "hate your enemies." But I say to you, "Love your enemies and pray for your persecutors."

Sometimes it is hard to love those we love! Just this morning, I was leaving to go grocery shopping. The lock on our back porch is wonky. So as I was leaving, it would not lock. I called Peter and showed him. Long story short; He blamed it on me even though the lock was clearly wonky. I was given this gift of seeing exactly why I was angry and why I get angry most of the time. I was clearly not being heard and was being blamed for something that was clearly not my fault. I could not believe he would not back off. I think he heard me saying he needed to fix the lock. Not what I was saying at all.

The good news is that I told him that my frustration about the lock was not aimed at him. I was clear that I was not angry at him - at least at first. It was only after I asked him why he kept insisting against the evidence that I was doing something wrong that I realized he was not really hearing me.

So the thing that gets me and that I have told him is that he is definitely more willing to give others a break than he is me. Not always, but he still has a hard time thinking about dealing with Mike owing $20,000 yet, no problem blaming me for things that are not my fault. I suspect something else is going on that he is not sharing.

So, loving someone even in anger. Recognizing that anger is temporary, love is foundational.

So, again. What is my part in this? Not just today, but what is my part in not being heard? Am I not saying what I feel clearly? Am I assuming others understand what I want? It is clear that many times, Peter does not and I am not aware of that. So we talk past each other and make no sense.

Alternatively, am I trying to make others conform to my way of thinking? Am I overreacting to people being people? Am I angry at something I have not yet let myself be aware of? Am I ready to be open to that? And again, am I treating Peter any better than I feel he sometimes treats me? I know I could always be more courteous and forgiving. Lots of stuff to think about with my spiritual director.
B