Two lords

Matthew 6:24 - You cannot serve two lords, for you will either hate the one and love the other or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and property, wealth or earthly goods.

It's the definition of mammon as property, wealth or earthly goods that really helps me understand this passage. It is a summary of the previous two pericopes - where your treasure is there will your heart be and when your eye is sound so is your body. Careful attention must be paid to where our eyes are looking, what our hearts are thirsting for and who or what we are serving.

For me it is my desire to be alone, to not have to be out in the world doing God's work. I get an invitation and my first thought is how to get out of it. Ugh. This does not apply to going out with The Night Ministry bus. I love that. I just love relaxing and being healthy more. It is my eternal question. Can I do this and stay healthy? How can I take care of myself by doing this? What will I have to give up so I can do this? It is wearing after a while.

Without the prednisone I am really tired more often than I remember before. It is a challenge to get up the energy to go places. Once the sun goes down, however, I feel much better and want to get out. It is a weird place to be in for sure. So often I was taught that to think of my own needs was selfish. So I constantly fight that. And Peter is so wonderful about letting me chill. A lot. I hope I am not taking him for granted or taking advantage of him.

God, help me to sort out today what is from you and what is from my own desires. Help me follow through on loving others.
B