Gratitude

Matthew 8:4 - And Jesus said to him, "See that you say nothing to anyone. Rather go and show yourself to the priests and offer the gift that Moses commanded as a testimony/witness to them.

Gratitude. When we receive healing we are to show gratitude to the healer and to witness/share our story with others.

It so happens that I have a healing story this morning. I emailed Eric Thursday night saying that I would no longer be coming because I was feeling controlled, manipulated and coerced. It was making me very uncomfortable. I talked with Peter about it a lot. Yesterday I talked with Maria as well. I shared with her how it felt like I was possibly overdoing it. I also shared that I thought perhaps the initial letter to Eric was unclear in that I focused on the assigning of teams and not on the entire process. And yet I knew I had done what I needed to do for me.

In my email to Eric, I made it plain that I would be available after Peter and I returned from Cleveland. Last night, just as Peter and I were going on our walk, he phoned. Of course I didn't answer and he had left a message. I did not listen to it right away. Instead I told Peter a little more about Dave because I wanted him to have that extra context. Peter is a rock! He grasped what I was saying immediately. He realized the two situations were similar and he realized that Eric had overstepped the boundary I laid down.

When we got closer to the lake, we sat down and listened to the message. I have already deleted it but I remember the part about how he, Eric, did not see the letter as coercive. That was when I deleted it. I asked Peter if he saw what was wrong with that. He said, it's not about him. I love that man! :) So I shared a similar situation with Dave - his claiming that he wanted to come pick some stuff up, but really just wanting to see me - and how I handled that.

Eric had called Peter as well asking how he felt about it. To his credit, Peter said nothing about wanting to call Eric back. Finally, Eric emailed about two hours after he had called. I put a filter on my account that will send him to the trash and blocked him from my phone. If he tries calling or emailing again, I will not see it.

I felt truly supported and affirmed that my decision was the correct one. And I did not have to wait for things to escalate before I took care of myself. That is the healing - that I did what I knew I had to do and took care of myself rather than trying to make everyone happy with my decision. I am the only one I need to please here. I do have some work to do around this - I need to be able to deal with manipulative people at some point in my career - yet I can see that I did the right thing.

So, now to express my gratitude, I promise myself that when I catch myself thinking about this while I'm on break, I will stop and refocus on God and what the next right step is. I refuse to let this situation get in the way of Peter and I having a good time.
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