Advent Day 12

Psalm 18:4 - I called on the Lord and was delivered from my enemies.

Who are our enemies? Are they people who have harmed us? people who were harmed by us? people with the potential to harm us? Does the harm have to be intentional?  or are our enemies merely people difficult to get along with? We all have such people in our lives. Whether we've met them in person or they harm us from afar. My question is - how are we delivered from our enemies?

The apostle Paul says acting gracious and loving toward our enemies will "heap coals on their heads." Not really delivering us, is it? Jesus tells us to pray for them; to go the extra mile ... not to heap coals, but as an act of love and forgiveness. In some cases, this would open us to more harm. It's important to remember that sometimes the most loving act we can give ourself and another is to keep out of their presence. Of course, the Lord's prayer also recommends forgiving others, which certainly includes our enemies. So, it seems that true peace between peoples begins with an act of love and forgiveness.

But, forgiveness is hard and should absolutely not be pushed on people not ready to forgive. Especially if the one who needs forgiving is not repentant. Forgiveness must come as a natural consequence of the healing process, not imposed from outside onto victims still suffering. Forgiveness sometimes takes a lot of time and healing. Yet, no matter how long it takes or how hard the work is, being able to forgive our enemies cuts the tie that binds us to them. Forgiveness is not only for our enemies benefit, maybe not even primarily, but rather for our own benefit as well, so that we might go forward freed from their hold over us psychically and emotionally. Resentment, anger and desiring revenge are all natural responses to harm. They give us a sense of power at a time when we feel powerless. They make us feel powerful, but in reality, giving into them in the long-term only gives our power to the one who has wronged us. In the long-term resentment and anger make our lives miserable.

This is a hard teaching, which is why we need help. The psalmist called on the Lord. Remembering God's steadfast love and our own love-worthiness (yes, it's a word now) helps strengthen us when the going gets rough. We might even need "God-with-skin" in the form of friends, family, church community, support groups, or even therapists to show us and remind us of our love-worthiness. It sucks to have to do this work because someone else caused us harm, but the freedom from resentment and anger is worth doing this work. It creates peace within us and our community.

Lord, make us instruments of forgiveness.