137 shots

Matthew 30:31-2 – Jesus stopped and calling to [the two blind men] said, “What do you want me to do for you? They said to him, “Lord, let our eyes be opened.”

This passage one thing I appreciate about Jesus, he listens. He doesn’t just heal them and move on, he listens. He asks what do you want, and then he listens. What a great chaplain. It’s especially great that he does not say, “Thoughts and prayers,” and move on even though he has the power to help. He merely asks what they want. He gives them an opportunity to tell their story. He gives them the gift of being heard.

So many people today feel unheard. We often talk past each other in our efforts to be heard, thus increasing the frustration. Sometimes we talk past each other to avoid having to listen. White men have been avoiding listening to white women and men and women of colors for centuries. Television pundits shouting at each other only amplifies the white man’s voice. They have positions of power and drown us out. One way we are seeing this is the revelations of sexual harassment and abuse many respected – and some not so respected – men have perpetrated against those without power. Yet, we continue to privilege the men doing the assaulting by discussing them rather than how such behavior impacts their victims. Women’s voices are still drowned out.

Last night, Peter and I went to a worship and rally in remembrance of Timothy Russell and Malissa Williams, who were shot 137 times by the Cleveland PD. It’s been five years and there has been no justice. Only one officer (out of 13 shooters) lost their job, none have gone to jail. There were cops from several jurisdictions around and the Cleveland PD were out of Cleveland at the time. The shooting happened in East Cleveland – in the parking lot of a middle school. They had done nothing for the officer to want to pull them over and were not wanted on a warrant. They did lead the police on a high-speed chase, which would not have happened had the officer who began this mess had left them alone. I wanted to share that before I share my thoughts about the rally.

At the rally, held at the school’s parking lot where the shooting happened, we began with prayer. At first there were only a dozen people there from two maybe three community organizing groups. After prayer, we counted aloud to 137, stopping to say “reload” on the 10s. By the time we got to 100, I was having trouble not crying. It was both moving and horrifying. So I invite you now, stop reading and count to 137, stopping on the 10s to say “reload.” While you’re doing this imagine you’re in a car in a dark parking lot surrounded by cops and those numbers are bullets. Oh yeah, and one of the cops has jumped on the hood and is shooting through the windshield. Hopefully, they were not conscious for that.

I have just read The Quest for the Historical Satan by Miguel De La Torre and Albert Hernandez. They offer a new way to think about satan – the accuser. They suggest we think of satan as a trickster; not a god opposed to God, but rather God’s partner. Tricksters in almost all human mythologies are neither good nor bad but often play a role in shining a mirror for us to see our behavior. Like signs on the road that we need to pay attention, tricksters try to give us heads up by testing us. So, satan, who needs God’s permission, tests us. Will we pass or fail? Completely up to us! I think America as a society is failing. We have failed to listen to women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted, instead treating them like sluts. We have failed to listen to Black people when they told us the truth about their lives. When evidence was presented, we made excuses. As a society. We failed and continue to fail the tests. They say the greatest trick the devil pulled was convincing people they didn’t exist. De La Torre and Hernandez argue that the greatest trick was to convince us that bad is good and good is bad. I think they might be right.

Which brings us to the final verse: "Lord, let our eyes be opened." We can only see when we’re willing to look with open eyes. So much of our political and social life together is built on denial of reality. As a society, as a church, we have ignored the signs and are reaping what we’ve sown. We have a tax bill that cuts taxes to corporations and takes away many benefits from actual people. We have been tricked into thinking good is bad and bad is good.

And so with those two blind men, I pray, “Lord, let our eyes be opened.”

PS – I’m annoyed with myself because I just sent in my application for an MTS at Iliff (online) and then I came up with all this. It would’ve been a beautiful essay….

Crowd Takes Charge

Matthew 30:31 - The crowd rebuked them so that they would be silent but they cried out louder, "Lord, have mercy on us."

"The crowd rebuked them." Gah. This has been a thing - people thinking they know what others would want them to do and doing it without asking. Its usually men, in my experience anyway. As a competent woman who's had this done to me many times, this annoys me no end. Especially when their intentions were "good," because that makes it harder to speak up.

Or, maybe the crowd misunderstood, the true nature of love that has no limit. Perhaps they thought that if Jesus healed these two blind men, there would be less healing for them. Love is not a zero sum commodity! More for you doesn't mean less for me. Especially true of Jesus. He loved everyone. Even the Sadducees and the Pharisees. Even the rich young man who couldn't give up his wealth and possessions. Even Judas. Even Trump, Ryan and McConnell. Yet, we cannot believe it. We don't want to believe it. I think because we suspect there might be more required of us if we begin to believe it., which is true.

So, the crowd, perhaps because they're afraid they'll end up with less if the blind men are healed, try to silence their competition ... and the competition won't be silenced. I think this idea of competition explains some people. Those who are afraid that someone they disapprove of will get something undeserved. Jesus rewards these men, which means they can be a model. They KNOW that Jesus can help them and so ignore those that try to stand in their way. I don't know about you, but I am the person who stands in my way. Before I even get started, my brain is telling me that it's not worth it. I am about to send my application to Iliff's MTS program and my brain is loud right now. Yet, if Jesus can heal two blind people, he can heal my mind's crazy, negative thoughts.

Do I have the dedication and courage to act on this knowledge that Jesus can heal? Do I have the courage to trust Jesus with the outcome, including financial questions? I sometimes think I am trusting and following Jesus' way and then something will happen, a small bump in the road. I need to work at it every day. Some days are better than others! Just for today, I choose to trust.
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Two Blind Men

Matthew 20:30 - And, look, there were two blind men sitting by the side of the road. Hearing that Jesus was passing by, they shouted, "Have mercy on us, lord, Son of David!"

They were just leaving Jericho and outside the gates of the city they encounter two blind men, presumably begging. We don't know anything more about them. I wonder, did they have a home to go to each night? family that cared about them? Or did they only have each other? Were they born blind or did they have a disease or an accident? Of course, none of these questions are answerable (and arguably not relevant). Yet, they are a way to enter the world of these two men. Their lives couldn't have been easy, whether they had family support or not.

They hear, someone tells them that Jesus is passing by. Somehow, they know who he is, which implies they're not completely without support or resources. They know that Jesus can heal them; give them a better life going forward. They are willing to do what they can to make their situation better. They cry out to Jesus, "Have mercy on us." Help us. We trust you can heal us. Please help. It's the first century equivalent of people begging in  big cities holding a sign telling their story. "Homeless and unemployed. A veteran, need housing." Except, it's a lot easier to pass by a person with a sign that people shouting out to you specifically.

Son of David is what they call Jesus. This was a messianic title and they are acknowledging they know who he is and what he can do for them. They are proclaiming him to be the messiah.

One final point. There must have been others begging on the road that day, but we only hear the story of these two men. DId others cry out and also receive healing? We don't know, we only know that these two did. Jesus does not heal people randomly. I can't think of one person he healed who did not ask (or argue with) him about it. He raised Lazarus from the dead, however, you can't ask a dead person's permission. They all asked, they all did what they could to better their situation. Jesus certainly healed more people than the gospels record, but could he or would he have healed some random person without their expressed desire for such healing?
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Walking from Jericho

Matthew 20:29 - As they were leaving Jericho, a great crowd followed him.

Raise your hand if you knew they were in Jericho. Having finished his gentle rebuke and theology lesson on becoming a slave, we abruptly discover they were in Jericho, about 25 km (15ish miles) away from their goal, Jerusalem.  Remember he told them that he was going to his death there. As usual, a great crowd followed him.

Do you ever wonder whether Jesus was ever annoyed by the crowds? We know he tried to get away when he could. Was he an introvert or an extrovert? I wonder because it would bother me. I'd need some time away from people to regroup, recharge, and rest in God (not in that order). I wonder if Jesus needed that or if he was so on fire, he had to keep going. Some people are like that. Not me.

I also wonder about the crowds following him. Were they all the same people? Why did they follow him? for his teaching? hoping for healing? because he gave them hope and they wanted to be near him? What about their families; wives, husbands, brothers, sisters, mothers. Recall that Jesus told them that if any of them left their mothers, sisters or brothers they would receive many more such figures in their life. But, how did the families and children left behind feel? Maybe their families were with them? But then we need to ask about their livelihood? It would have been a rather large social disruption, which would have annoyed the authorities for certain.
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Ransom

Matthew 20:28 - "Just as the son of man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Serve. Not slave, completely different word. Perhaps this is the verb for what slaves do? Jesus reiterates and highlights the necessity for service in God's kin-dom. Jesus came not to be treated like royalty, like a god - but t0 serve those in his care. To serve is the job definition of a slave. So, again, the chasm between Jesus as part of the Trinity and Jesus as a human being, a slave, could not be greater. He truly emptied himself.

He emptied himself and gave "his life as a ransom for many." What does it mean for Jesus to give his life? Does it mean that he dies for us? Does it mean that he dedicated his human life to serve? In this case, I think it is both-and rather than either-or. He spends his ministry in healing, teaching, prophesying and resisting. His death is a result of that activity. He died that we might live - not saved from hell after we die, but live our true lives hell and now. Freedom from our former, limiting ways of thinking rather than freedom from all pain in the afterlife. Freedom from being of this world - being blown every which way by the winds of opinion and fashion. Freedom from a life lived without purpose or meaning. Freedom to be who we are.

This is how I define 'saved' in my own life. I was living in the hell of having no sense of my own self worth, thinking my very existence was shameful, being convinced I was going to hell after death, that I was excluded from Jesus' promises, being petty, spiteful and self-centered, thinking I had missed the key of life that everyone else seemed to have, dealing with abuse from family and significant others. Traumatized. Like the women who are coming forward and sharing their own stories of sexual abuse and harassment. We were all living in hell.

Jesus came to me at my lowest point to let me know he understood, even if no one else did. I have been graced by that revelation more than I can speak. I'm no longer haunted by the past. And yet these revelations of sexual abuse by so many powerful men have opened up a new awareness of how much stuff I took responsibility for that wasn't mine to be responsible for. It's hard to look at because no one wants to see themselves as a victim. I don't want to see myself as a victim, as vulnerable (in the bad way). Yet, I do it anyway to the best of my ability. I recognize that while my physical age may have been considered old enough, I was not emotionally mature enough - L, D, J. All took advantage of my immaturity.

This past weekend was rough, thinking about these events. I think I have enough recovery that I no longer feel bad, shameful, sinful, screwed up. I have enough recovery to remember my strength, to keep working, writing, applying for Iliff. Enough confidence in me and those who support me to believe that none of that is who I am.

That is the freedom Jesus offered me; freedom from the past, my foibles, my traumatizing experiences. Jesus reminds me of my birth-right; I am a child of God.
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Becoming a Slave

Matthew 20:27 - "And whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave."

Slave. There's a difference between being great and being first; the difference between being a servant and being a slave. The words and concepts are as different in Greek as they are in English. If we want to be great, we must serve others. We must be their servant. A servant has rights, gets paid, can go home at night, can go wherever they please, is employed, and is given the dignity of being considered a person.

A slave gets none of these things: no rights, no pay, no home, no freedom, no dignity of being considered a person, they are owned. They are truly last. Yet, the biggest difference between these two statuses is the type and severity of punishment. A servant had rights and if an employer abused them, they could theoretically get another position. A slave had no such option, either in America or Rome or wherever slavery existed. That is what it means to be  a slave. They were owned, not employed. They could not just go looking for another owner. They had no rights and no recourse.

This is a measure of how wrong James, John, and their mother were. Were they prepared to give up what little they had, including the dignity of personhood? Taking on a living death? Some churches continue to ask/demand this from their women (not their men). This is what Paul means when he said Christ left the form of God to take on the form of a slave. A complete denial of all that is considered human. Following Jesus means going down the ladder toward slavery, rather than up.
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This is What Equality Looks Like

Matthew 20:26 - "It will not be so with you. Whoever wishes to be great among you must become your servant."

And we're bback to the last will be first - phrased differently. "It will not be so among you" refers to the previous verse in which he described contemporary rulers lording it over their subjects. He is giving James and John a friendly rebuke along with his reiteration of the upside-down hierarchy of his kin-dom. As members of Jesus' kin-dom, are instructed not to aspire to be great as the world sees greatness but rather to aspire to serve.

Jesus describing for them the upside-down nature of his kin-dom. Rather than working our way up the ladder, we are to work our way down toward those whose access is limited or non-existent, the outcasts. Contemporary outcasts include people experiencing homelessness, people who aren't "white," people who commit crimes while not being "white," people with little or poor education, people with disabilities including mental health issues, people whose sexuality doesn't match the one male-one female paradigm. I could go one. Jesus challenges the disciples yet again to go further in being in the world but not worldly.

Jesus is always challenging our ways of seeing (perception) and our ways of being in the world. He wants us to discover love and for many of us, dependent as we seem to be on TV, facebook, twitter and other media, that means being with those we find unlovable - at least at first. Once we spend time with those the world rejects, we begin to see more clearly how other people's stories intersect with our own. We begin to see how our systems - political, economic, social - are geared toward keeping white cishet men in power and keeping all others down. It's no one person's fault. As we begin to see it, we can no longer be satisfied with the accumulation of things as a measure of success, we can no longer be satisfied with the status quo.

The deeper we go in love, the more we see how unloving our old ways were. I'm extrapolating from my own experience here. I thought success meant having a good-paying job and being responsible. The world (at least in America) would add a college degree, owning a house, being married, having children, having good credit, having status symbols such as cars, jewelry, second homes. These things need to be protected so we get a security system, fence our yards in, and gate our communities to keep "those people" out. Our hearts become small and insular rather than opening up to the love of others. Jesus tells us this is not the way to love. It is the primrose path to demonization and hate of the other.

Going toward love (down) challenges us to be open to letting go of our possessions; our addictions to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, cigars, TV, social media, fiction, books, shopping, gambling, love, sex, and all the other things we substitute for getting to know ourselves and others. Going toward love frees us to not worry about what we wear or how we will get our next meal. Going toward love frees us to spend our time loving others, hearing their stories, serving them. Going toward love is the way to be great in the kin-dom of love.
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This is What Oppression Looks Like

Matthew 20:25 - And Jesus, calling them, said to them, "You know that the rulers of the nations lord it over them and their great ones are tyrants over (dominate) them."

All we have to do to see this today is pick up the newspaper. The desires of Trump and the Republicans to have complete control over everyone else, especially women and their wombs. I just discovered Rosemary Radford Reuther's book, "New Woman, New Earth." Sadly, 40 years later, the attitudes of men toward women haven't changed much. Just look at the lengths that Weinstein went to keep the women he raped and harassed quiet: he had his bodyguards, some of whom were ex-Mossad, intimidate them into silence. It really burns men's egos that women are entering - they might say "invading" - spheres previously reserved for men alone: politics, STEM, journalism, authors, doctors, lawyers, governors, congresspeople - even president. (Hillary is still my president!)

Republicans want the status quo so bad, they cheat - gerrymandering, voter suppression, lie about their opponent, even joining with the Russians - to get their way. We've held them back and even gained a little ground yesterday. A trans woman won a state congressional seat in North Carolina, beating the very man who authored the  "bathroom bill."

Here, Jesus is clearly about to make a distinction between the nations and his kin-dom. He describes the nations as having rulers who revel in using their power over others just because they can. They are cruel just because they can be. They kill just because they can. They take away others' rights just because they can. The rape and sexually harass just because they can. I'm no longer talking about the Romans, am I? The disciples already know this. They know this in their bodies as well as their minds how it feels to be oppressed in these ways. They don't like it - who would? Jesus doesn't have to go into detail or dramatize the situation for effect; it's horribly shitty already.

Stay tuned for his prescription.
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You what?

Matthew 20:24 - When the ten heard about it, they were indignant with the two brothers.

My first thought is, How did they hear about it? There were only four people in the and none of them are good candidates for saying anything to the others. James and John probably wanted to keep it quiet - I know I would. I can't imagine their mother broadcasting her failure to secure their place. Jesus might have - if only to teach all of them a lesson. No matter what happens, we get theology with that. So, unless James and John are fans of unnecessary drama, either they were overheard or Jesus saw a teaching moment. He certainly saw one after they heard about it.

My second thought was, Well of course they were indignant! Who wouldn't be? There seems to always be at least one person in any group who tries to put themselves above others ... even in churches and other religious organizations. It is upsetting and as we can see, it hurts relationships with others in the group. Ambition on its own isn't bad, as I mentioned in my previous post, but when others are hurt, it becomes sinful. And the brothers' ambition embodied and incarnated in secret hurts their relationship with the other disciples.

My third thought is to wonder why the ten got upset. There's the obvious, that some of their number were trying to get ahead at their expense. But, was there any other reason? Were any of them considering doing the same thing and hadn't acted yet? How competitive were the disciples? We rarely see this kind of interaction among them, but that doesn't mean that it rarely happened. Peter in particular was impulsive and hot-headed.

So, the lesson here is think before you act. Did James and John think about what they were doing? As I mentioned, there was precedent for their mother to approach Jesus, yet they were certainly in on the plan. Of course, no one can foresee all the consequences of our actions, however, that does not let us off the hook for being thoughtful and acting more intentionally for others rather than ourselves. Next, we will see Jesus' comments on all of this.
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Pride

Matthew 20:23 - "You will indeed drink my cup but to sit on my right and on my left is not mine to give, but those for whom it has been prepared by my father."

I want to revisit this because I have been thinking of pride in relation to this pericope. There is a difference between the brothers' ambitious pride that leads them to do a foolish thing, being proud of things about ourselves we have no control over, and being proud of things we have worked to accomplish. So often we in the church forget these differences 0 especially when it comes to how we see women and people of colors.

James and John were exhibiting overweening pride and ambition. They were asking not only to be placed above their fellows, but also they were asking for honors which they hadn't yet earned. This is the kind of ambition and pride that tend to gloat over others' losses or lesser status. This is the kind of ambition that turns to ashes in our mouths. Look at Trump and his crew. When a person does anything to get what they want, the illegal things eventually catch up to them. In Trump's case, he is also enabling Republicans to try and enact their evil, wicked economic policies of taking from the poor and giving to the rich.

Next to this anti-Robin Hood ambition and pride stand pride over things we cannot control, such as our skin color, our country of birth, our talents, our looks, our families. Sure, we can be proud of our country when it acts in a manner deserving of pride. We can be proud of our heritage insofar as it has been ethical and moral. We can be proud of our work to develop our talents. In other words, we can be proud of actions taken.

When I began the process of becoming a minister, I was given a psych test of 150 questions, most of them along the lines of, "I have been on the cover of 30 magazines this month." Easily answered, if one is reasonably sane and honest. (I suspect Trump would fail this test on honesty grounds alone.) One of the things that the doctor and I discussed was a question about pride. The question on the test said something like, "I am proud of things I've accomplished." This disturbed the doctor. I stated bluntly that I saw no reason not to be proud of things I've done. I had just graduated college as outstanding senior - a thing I didn't know existed and yet I earned it anyway. I worked for that honor. The doctor was not convinced. Thinking about it this morning, I realize that there was probably some sexism involved in his attitude. As a woman, he didn't think I should be proud. Either that or he concatenated the three forms of pride into one. An unholy trinity. Regardless, women in our society are punished for being proud of our accomplishments, for being ambitious, for speaking out. Men are rewarded for these actions.

It is clear to me that that doctor's personal opinion got in the way of his better judgement. I hurt no one. Being proud of one's accomplishments is worlds away from being proud of things one can't control, and both are different from being so proud and ambitious that we hurt our relationships with others and with God. This is as true for women and people of colors as it is for men. It's time that we started to push back against those who would try to oppress women just because they are women, to push back against those who try to oppress people of colors just because they are not white, to push back against those who try to oppress anyone who is "different."

Taste and See

Matthew 20:23 - "You will indeed drink my cup, but to sit on my right and on my left are not mine to give, rather for those for whom it has been prepared by my father."

No more playing, no more sarcasm, no more challenge. "You will drink my cup." A prophecy. Did James and John panic? Did they try to take back their words? Were they afraid? DId they even realize that Jesus' cup to drink was not the things they had already seen? A prophecy that they, too, will be arrested, tortured, and killed, because in the Roman Empire, refusing to recognize Caesar as a God, was sedition. And, Jesus has been saying all along that there is a higher authority in heaven. Jesus has been challenging the Roman world view. He has gained many followers and is encouraging them to do the same. Of course, the Romans are going to kill him.

Jesus us telling us, as he told the disciples, that we must drink his cup when we follow. Going against the "wisdom" and mores of our culture is to risk, not dying necessarily, but at least castigation, loss of employments, threats against our persons or our families, jail. That is the contemporary cup. When we speak about injustice we are going against the mores of our culture and those in power (Republicans) will do anything to silence those who step out of line. Think Colin Kaepernick, Hillary Clinton, Elizabeth Warren. Even our president participates in this silencing. Yet, like James and John and the others, we are still called to speak out, to amplify the voices of the oppressed and marginalized, to work toward a "more perfect union."

It seems as though I'm getting political. I am. Politics is how we decide how to live together as a country. Voicing our opinions is our right, protected by our constitution. No one has to listen, of course. Jesus spoke against the rulers of his day, condemning them and the society they created. Following Jesus entails getting 'political' and speaking up for our common good. Everything is political.

Can we be of the world but not in it? The world tells us that immigrants are evil, that people on welfare are lazy, that African-American men are scary, that greed and ambition are good things, that being rich is desirable, that we are the best, that the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah were sexual rather than a failure to provide hospitality to strangers. None of this resembles anything that Jesus taught.

This story comes on the heels of Jesus blowing his disciples' minds by telling them that rich people would have a hard time getting into heaven, that those who are first here will be last in the kingdom and vice versa, that we are only "saved" by God's love, that God is so loving that everyone gets enough to live on. For God and for Jesus, it's not about who deserves help, it's about our social and spiritual duty to recognize our profound connection to our fellow human beings. We are ALL made in God's image.

Jesus is always pushing us to go further into love, to go downward following God's preferential option for the poor. It's hard; change always is. Yet, that is the cup that Jesus offers us - to let go of our ambitions, our dreams of glory, our pride, our consumerist desires, our comfort and instead embrace those whom our world rejects. Be in the world but not of it. Jesus wants us to do that loving thing that we've been contemplating doing and see how much of a blessing we will receive when we dare to love as he did.

Taste and see.
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Are You Able?

Matthew 20:22 - Jesus answered, "You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup I will drink?" They answered, "We are."

Although their mom asks Jesus the favor, he includes them in his response - or maybe he speaks directly to them.  She does not know what she is asking. From her request, it seems she (and her sons) envisions a military, earthly kingdom in which she will see her sons rule. The 'cup' Jesus refers to is his arrest, torture, and crucifixion. He just said this a few sentences ago for the third time. Clearly, either the mother wasn't there for these revelations or she doesn't understand what Jesus meant. She is asking for honors for her son they have yet to demonstrate they deserve. She's still being a good mother, it's just that she doesn't have all the information.

In fact, she was probably cajoled into it by her sons, who did hear these proclamations all three times. It hasn't occurred to them that they, too, will be arrested, tortured, and killed. Even though Jesus has made it clear, there's a part of their brains that resists. They don't quite believe it and also think Jesus kingdom will be a military one.

All my life, I have thought of this story playing out calmly and with little drama, because of the way it's often read in church. Yet, today, I wonder whether Jesus would be a little sarcastic or disbelieving. Rather than a solemn statement and question, what about a mild rebuke and a challenge? Possibly a laugh of scorn, a little rolling of the eyes, a silent "How long, O Lord?" to underscore the chasm between what he wants them to know and what they are willing or able to take in. I'm sure there's a lot of frustration going on.

Yet, the disciples are stand-ins for us - how often do we over- or underestimate our abilities? Quite often. Without self0reflection, human beings become reactionary. It takes maturity - emotional, mental, and spiritual maturity, to begin responding rather than reacting. James and John are not there yet. None of us is - there's always deeper we can go. Jesus question is a challenge. "Are you able to drink the cup" gives them a chance to think. There is no indication they do. They answer immediately, "we are." This answer lets us know that they are not able. Not yet.

What about you? What about me? What cup is Jesus offering us today? Whatever it is, Jesus will give us courage to drink.
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