Reality vs Fantasy

Matthew 23:38 – “Fill up, then, the measure of your fathers.”
 

This is a direct translation. I’m guessing it’s an idiom meaning, you are just like your father. Jesus is accusing the scribes and the Pharisees of being like their fathers. The fathers that murdered the prophets. The scribes and the Pharisees are more obsessed with money and power than justice and kindness. Like the scribes and the Pharisees, we’d all like to think better of ourselves than we might deserve. I see two ways of going about that.

First, we could redefine ‘good’ to mean whatever we do. We’re good people, therefore, what we do is good. This is what Jesus is accusing the scribes and Pharisees of doing; imagining they are better than they are. Peter and I saw “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” and I was surprised to learn that Mister Rogers’ funeral was protested. Why? Because he told children they didn’t have to do anything to be considered special and unique. (Did they not watch the parts about being kind and how important friendship is?) They said this about a man so beloved that there’s an urban myth about thieves returning his car because they found out it belonged to him. These people felt the need to trash the reputation of a modern-day saint to make themselves feel better about themselves.

While no one was injured in the funeral protests, this attitude is risky and dangerous to its holder and those around them. This is the same attitude underlying racism: what ‘white’ people do is good, Black people are always wrong. Look at all the excuses ‘white’ people give for police who shoot Black people, as though the Black person deserved it. The decision to live in a world of fantasy where we are always right and everyone else is wrong has actual, real-world consequences. We see it in the current administration and the Republicans who support 45. Their efforts to make their fantasies come true have or will hurt many people: poor people, Black people, refugees, children ripped away from their parents, people with pre-existing conditions, Medicaid recipients. The only people who won’t suffer under 45 are rich people. And even then, they will eventually. Reality doesn’t care what you believe.

Living in a fantasy of our own making leads to death; physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Living in reality takes courage. To be able to honestly assess our strengths and weaknesses is a gift. To live knowing we aren’t perfect is a gift. Asking ourselves how we may be responsible for a rift in a relationship is not weak, but strong. It is only by recognizing our faults, that we can begin to address them. And what better way to begin to think well of ourselves than to address those faults? To think better of ourselves requires that we be better people.

Better, not perfect. That’s not possible. There seems to be a delusion in our society that it is possible. We love to criticize others for their faults. Are we as studious about our own? As a society, no, we’re not. Or there might not be so many people who believe Fox News' lies. We’d even recognize that reality TV is nothing like reality. 

Mr. Rogers taught us to accept ourselves as we are right now. He didn’t stop there, though; he also taught us about the importance of kindness and friendship. Being kind and supporting our friends are easy, concrete ways to be better people.