Where is your treasure?

Where is your treasure? Psalm 63 talks about yearning for God and Luke talks about yearning for the Kingdom. God delights in giving us this kin-dom. Yet there are always those (like me) who cannot believe this, who keep other from entering as well. So, what about me? Where is my treasure? Am I hoarding? Am I keeping others out in some way?

As I write this, I am still resentful about D and E. I guess I need to work through that anger with them and with myself. I really wish I'd had the presence of mind to ask why they thought I'd not had deep conversations with anyone. I still feel as though something important was taken away. Well, not taken away, but damaged? changed? I was so happy to be associated with them. Now, although I miss everyone, I feel a sense of loss as well as a desire to see everyone, it wouldn't be the same. I think a part of me had begun to identify my ministry with them. Maybe too much. Maybe my identity was tied up in it. Maybe this was where my treasure was, rather than in heaven. Maybe I need to build my identity and find my treasure elsewhere. I don't really want to hang on to the face of their rudeness and condescension. That will never make me feel good.

So, where is my my treasure? How much is in P? How much is in God? vocation? That reminds me of a remark S made: reading as work. I hadn't thought of it that way before. Perhaps a clue to my true vocation? And where does Rogers Park fit in?

Where is my treasure?