Bad Faith

Matthew 21:27 - So they answered him, "We do not know." Jesus said to them, "Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things."

Have you ever heard the term "arguing in bad faith?" It's a phrase used to describe people who are not willing to have a discussion, but merely distract, repeat themselves, lie, make up "alternative facts," substitute sinister sounding terms like "chain migration" for the proper term ("family reunification"), or "can't remember" ever meeting the Russian ambassador. They do not listen, they interrupt, and they tend to be very passionate. Jesus described them as having ears but not hearing. Talking to such people is like talking to a brick wall.

Jesus is facing this same situation. The chief priests and the elders are not interested in having a good faith discussion. If they were, they would have answered Jesus' question. They are only interested in trapping Jesus into saying something they can use against him; another sign of someone arguing in bad faith. Jesus isn't have any of their bullsh*t. He's not going to play their game by their rules. The chief priests and the elders are trying to wiggle themselves out of their predicament by not taking a stand one way or the other. They imagine staying silent will keep them out of trouble with their Roman masters and with the people. It's like Paul Ryan steadfastly refusing to comment on 45 - the elephant in the room. In both cases, silence is complicity.

But what about you and me? Do we always argue in good faith? Do we know what it looks like? It's so easy to get sucked in to someone else's views and react rather than respond. Since I am often guilty of this, I'm compiling for myself - and you if you need it - some tips for having a good faith discussion.

First tip - listen to the other person with respect. I am often so busy trying to form my argument or so impatient with how the person is wrong, I miss what they are saying - not the word part but underneath the words. Listening is a good skill to have. If I'm not sure I understood, I'll ask. That's tip number 2. It's no sense talking past each other. Number three is to have facts and sources. It's tempting to talk about things that "feel true," yet that just adds confusion. The corollary to this is be honest about what you know and open to learning. You don't have to agree with your partner, but being honest will further the conversation rather than derail it. Tip 4 - call out the bullsh*t if any. Jesus does this gently and firmly. We can learn this as well. I really wish our news media would do this more often and more firmly. Number 5, search for common ground: areas in which you agree and can provide a jumping off point. It will add to the good will of the discussion. Finally, if and when it becomes obvious that your partner is not arguing in good faith, Jesus gives us permission in this story to stop participating. We don't need to convince everyone - sometimes it's better to agree to disagree.

Do you have ears but cannot hear or eyes but cannot see? Are you willing to pray for your hearing and sight to be restored? Are you willing to give others the benefit of the doubt? to walk away when it's clear they don't deserve it?