Losing one's soul

Matthew 16:25 - For whoever would save their soul/spirit would lose it and whoever would lose their soul would find it.

Having lost my soul/spirit, I can say that I'd rather find it. The paradox of finding it by losing it or losing it by finding it. See, the thing is, we need to have a sense of self, of our spirit to lose. It took me til my 40s to have such a sense. Then giving it to God - losing it - has given me more and better. Don't get me wrong, life is hard in many ways for everyone. Yet, when I did not have a sense of who I am, life was much harder. I was lost.

Those who would save their spirits/souls as they are - flawed - and not grow will lose even what they have. Those who chose to lose their souls/spirits to God, will grow their spirits, their capacity for love and compassion. Empathy. It requires being vulnerable, willing to lose. It requires making that choice every day. Some days I chose well, others I choose badly. Today, I want to choose well.
B