Matthew 26:39 - And going a little farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not what I want but what you want.”
Going a little farther. Jesus’ grief is so overwhelming that even though he needs his friends around him, he needs to be alone as well. Grief is like that, isn’t it? We want people around and yet we want to be alone. Things become fuzzy and unclear. We slow down; our thinking processes are slower and our bodies move more slowly as well.
In his grief, Jesus does what he knows will help. He prays. He laments what is about to happen. He pleads that another way might be found. He asks the cup be passed from him. Jesus’ grief causes him to ask God to give him a break. We’ve all faced situations we wished we could avoid. Although grief is individual, we’ve all known the kind of grief that asks God to just have it be over. We even bargain with God. If you’ll do this, I’ll do that.
This is such an honest, human response. Jesus tells it like it is. He pours out his grief and his heart to a God familiar to him through many hours of prayer. This is an example for all of us. Some of us were raised not to complain or lament to God – at least it wasn’t a recognized thing. Even in the death of our loved ones, there’s a sense of them being in a better place, so we shouldn’t hurt. But Jesus here is showing us a better way. Honesty about our feelings with God, even if we are angry at God. God can take it!
What if, though, Jesus' grief is about more than just losing his life or suffering torture? Howard Thurman adds profundity to this scene – or should I say exposes profundity – by noting, “But to die with such a sense of ‘my work not done.’ And if I can convince myself that no one else can do the work, then death is a terror.” I can see his point. At this juncture, the disciples are not yet up to the task, and Jesus knows it. Is he perhaps thinking that all will be lost? Again, that is a very human reaction to his situation.
But Jesus doesn’t stop there. Nor does Thurman. Later in the same essay, he writes, “… the fierce hold that we have on our lives, again and again, is the most real thing that we have. To relax that and to trust God - … to trust God with just you, with me, to say, ‘It’s all right, my times are in Thy hands.’ – is the most difficult dimension of the spiritual life.” That is what Jesus must push through in order to accomplish his work on earth. That is what we all must push through in order to accomplish our work on earth.
This radical trust in God doesn’t come easy. In fact, it’s painful. We like to think of ourselves as being powerful, capable, and in control. Jesus, and we as Christians, are being asked to give up that illusion and trust God. Yes, sometimes what God asks of us is painful. Following Jesus isn’t always pleasant; it’s work. Sometimes, the only way we can continue is by recognizing it’s God’s will, and that God will carry us, somehow.
And when we’ve poured out our hearts to God, there is then room for God’s grace to pour in, grace that allows us to radically trust God with our very lives.
Can we be open to that grace and that trust?
B
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