Wedding Crashers

Matthew 25:11-13 – “Later the other bridesmaids came also, saying, ‘Lord, lord, open to us.’ But he replied, ‘Truly I tell you, I do not know you.’ Keep awake therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.”

Clearly, those who know Jesus are those who are prepared to enter the wedding banquet. People who go to weddings of others they don’t know are known as ‘wedding crashers.’ We will be prepared if we know Jesus, or more specifically, if Jesus knows us. One meaning of ‘know’ implies relationship, not merely knowledge about Jesus but knowing Jesus, having met Jesus.

Before we elaborate on that, I want to reiterate that marriage was the go-to metaphor in the Old Testament for the relationship between God and humanity. It’s a relationship that demands all of us, holding nothing back. Of course, we hold back – we’re human! But as we grow, we begin to open ourselves up rather than keeping ourselves to ourselves. God wants to know us in this intimate way. Our God is not a solitary God, but a God of relationship.

There are many ways to meet God; one of them is through others. Either their loving us, or our loving them. In other words, loving our neighbors and receiving the love they offer is how we get to know Jesus, get to the wedding banquet of Heaven. You might say that love can not be commanded in this way. Here, we are discussing love as an action rather than warm fuzzies. It is true that ‘warm fuzzies’ cannot be commanded. We absolutely can work on our feelings toward others, but this is not what love entails here. I do things I do for love of God first, especially in situations where the recipient is someone I am angry at (an enemy?), or where I don’t know the people I’m helping yet. 

When I first began to feel called to ministry, I phoned my pastor in CA. We set up a time to talk for longer, and as we were hanging up, she said, “In the meantime, think about the love you have for Jesus.” She was giving me a clue to the life of ministry – it’s for the love of Jesus/God/Allah. Loving Jesus is how we’re prepared, and we love Jesus by loving others. That is a foretaste of heaven, the wedding banquet.

Let’s think about our love for our Higher Power, whatever name they go by.

B

The Door was Shut

Matthew 25:10 – “But while they went to buy it [the oil], the groom came, and those who were ready went with him into the wedding banquet, and the door was shut.”

There’s a finality implied by that final phrase “the door was shut.” There’s a saying that when God shuts a door, he opens a window. I’m pretty sure that s not the case here. We shut doors to keep people out or in. In this parable, those who are not ready cannot enter. This seems harsh – brutally final. But think about it. Would you take a test you were not prepared for? Would you give a speech without rehearsing and preparation? Sometimes, we know what is expected of us, but we choose not to follow through. We were not ready. Just as the foolish bridesmaids were not ready. They were not prepared for the groom to come as late as he did. 

Matthew, using Jesus’ voice, is telling his readers to be ready, or the door will be shut. What does Matthew think readiness entails? Well, he spent chapters 5 – 7 on one sermon of Jesus, the sermon on the mount, and that is what being ready looks like. We’ve seen Jesus’ advice to the rich, young ruler: sell all you have, give the proceeds to the poor, and follow him. Later in this chapter, we will see another way to be ready. The point is that just as the foolish bridesmaids had no excuse for not being ready, neither do we. If we’re not ready, the door will be shut to us.

But, what exactly does that mean in the context of Jesus as the groom and us as the bridesmaids? What door? The door to the marriage banquet, a common metaphor for heaven, for God’s presence. However, there is no literal door. I think rather than being shut completely out, our lack of preparation will make it harder or impossible for us to participate in the joyous festivities. Until we can accept responsibility for the behavior that led to our being unprepared. I don’t believe in the concept of an eternal hell, because God loved the whole world – not just those who acknowledge her through Jesus Christ. There is no fiery furnace awaiting us after we die. More than that, I cannot say exactly how we will feel cut off, or how we can make it right – only that I believe we will have the opportunity.

The thing about readiness, is that none of us will be perfectly ready. That’s impossible, simply because we are human and imperfect. No matter how much we let go of the world’s concerns and live for Christ, there will always be more we could do or could have done. I read a passage today about Johan von Hulst. He was head of the teacher’s training college in Amsterdam that served as the staging area for taking children to the concentration camps. He and his staff are credited with saving 600+ children from death in the camps. Yet, he mourns for those he could not save; he couldn't keep the door open for all the children. We should all feel that way to some degree, because there is always more to do. As the Talmud states, “We are not obligated to complete the work, neither are we free to desist from it.” 

God doesn’t require perfection; she only wants us to love our neighbors. How better to love our neighbors than keeping the open by working for a world where everyone has dignity, resources, joy, love, security, and companionship with others, even though we won’t see its completion?

B

Fire Watch

What is it like to do the fire watch at Denison UCC? As I wrote earlier, Denison is a local church that the fire department wanted to shut down. They would only permit Denison to let people sleep there if they instituted a fire watch system. So, every day from 6 - 10 pm, in two-hour shifts, a pair of “fire watchers” inspect the church to ensure that there are no obstructions in the hallways, no signs of smoke, and the cigarette butts from the smoke break are out. 

Before coming to Cleveland, I did homeless outreach in another city. When I began, I knew there would be many stories of pain and hardship. It is not easy to be homeless no matter where you live. However, I was surprised by the joy of the people I spoke with and the hope that kept them alive on the streets. The people sleeping at Denison UCC were no different. Their joy, gratitude, and hope were evident, even in the middle of painful situations.

My partner and I spoke with one man who was soaking his frostbitten toes in tubs of water as he got ready for a smoke break, which happens every hour on the porch area. It was heartbreaking to watch him slowly put on his socks, knowing we couldn’t help him for fear of causing more pain. But we could listen, and we did, as he told his story. He wasn’t sure he’d make it in time to have a smoke, but he was able to walk out there with his feet feeling better. A small joy.

Another man, after a shower and wearing a fresh t-shirt, underwear, and socks, exclaimed, “Tomorrow is another day.” Hope. The fire watch volunteers along with the staff and other volunteers offer hope. The underclothing, provided by the volunteer who kept watch over the shower area, making sure only one person was in the shower at a time, offered hope. Wearing fresh underclothes seems a small thing, until they are no longer available on a regular basis. 

Honestly, I feel a lot of tension from these encounters, because I get to go home to fresh underclothes and a warm bed. That tension, though, is important. It’s important to recognize our privileges, because change, real change, cannot happen without people with privilege being willing to feel uncomfortable. As a white woman who is currently fairly well off, I am privileged. What I gave up to do the fire watch shift was my physical comfort for two hours as we climbed up and down the steps and a few hours of sleep. This was not much of a sacrifice honestly. Yet, it meant that people experiencing homelessness had a safe, warm place to spend the night.

If my words here speak to you, and you feel inspired to be uncomfortable, Mr. Rogers has good advice: “Look for the helpers. There are always people helping.” There are many ways to help.