Hardness of Heart

Matthew 19:8 - He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives; but it was not so from the beginning."

Hardness of heart and divorce. They always go together. Even if only one person's heart has been hardened, there is a divorce. If not legally, then emotionally, spiritually. Sadly, hardness of heart has always been with us. The first murder happens in the fourth chapter of the first book of the Bible. It is nothing new.

It is easy to read this and not recognize that we are those whose hearts are hardened. Maybe not about our spouses, but other things. Jesus is all about softening the heart. Like Jeremiah - I will remove their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. What we need are hearts of flesh; even for our enemies.

Yes, that is hard. It is hard every morning to ask God to give McConnell and Ryan peace. My mind still does it because I know it's the only way. My heart is hardened to them. Even though I know their actions come from a place of deep pain. Jesus says we must pray for our enemies, so I do. It's the only way to soften our hearts. If we suddenly had everything our own way, our hearts would slowly harden. Not everyone's of course, but many. Praying for the good of our enemies, or the spouse who no longer loves us, is difficult. 

It does not mean that we think everything they do is fine. It isn't. It's a way to begin to accept that person as a child of God. Because they are. It's a road to understanding that there is common ground somewhere. We will not find it when we write them off as they do us.

Today I choose to look at my heart and see where it needs softening.
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Moses Said it was okay

Matthew 19:7 - They said to him, "Why then did Moses command them to give a written certificate of divorce and so abandon her?"

Okay, that translation of abandon is a little harsh. Yet, that is exactly what would have happened. As I mentioned earlier. 

That aside, the Pharisees think they have Jesus trapped. They ask an "innocent" question about marriage and when Jesus answers, point out how it differs from scripture. I have had this done to me and have done this to others. It's not a good way to build community. In fact, it's really good for creating hurt feelings and divisions. 

If Jesus had answered that Moses gave such a command, they would have quoted scripture against it. The Bible is not known for its consistency ... They think they have won just as we do when we ask the "gotcha" question. Sadly, no one wins in this scenario. The Pharisees go away no wiser, yet more convinced of their own righteousness. Jesus and his disciples lose potential allies.

It is still the same today. The "gotcha" question is asked in bad faith and creates divisiveness rather than diversity. There is no room for discussion or understanding. Only dissension.

Today I choose not to sow dissension.
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What God has joined ...

Matthew 19:6 - "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What God has joined let no one put asunder."

So, while God brings people together in marriage, are all marriages then God's doing? Because I married a guy who was a terrible choice. I would hate to think that God decided I needed to be hit. And where does free will come into it? Of course, marriage is an entirely different beast now than it was then. But I think the question is still valid. 

My current marriage is the exact opposite. I do think God brought us together. Christian marriage does create a new entity, yet it needs to be worked at. It's not magic! And we are still our own people. We are not complementarian in any way. Well, we complement each other but there is no submission. We are equal partners learning what it means to be one flesh. Equal partners with Christ as well
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One Flesh

Matthew 19:4-5 - And he answered them, "Have you not read that the one who made them from the beginning made them male and female? He added, "For this reason a man will leave behind his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh."

I struggled with this for a long time - as a divorced woman. Yet, I think it is good to remember here that women were completely dependent on men. To divorce a woman was not only to disgrace her or make her life more difficult, it could mean death. There's a reason God commands us to take care of widows after all. Casually ruining another's life for one's own gain is cruel and of course the Pharisees knew this.

They were trying to trap him into coming down on one side or the other; yes or no. Yet Jesus sides with God always. God sides with the widow, the orphan, the oppressed, the downtrodden. In this case, the wife, whose life is in the hands of her husband. So, in reminding them that God created us all and God meant for men and women to procreate together, divorce was not only an action against a vulnerable person but against God's very self. Thus, Jesus makes the Pharisees asking the question look bad. Well, they do it to themselves but Jesus underlines the point. He is asking them why they are pretending not to know the Law.
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Divorce lawful?

Matthew 19:3 - And Pharisees came up to him and testing him said, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?"

I'm not sure offhand what the Pharisees believed about divorce. From this passage, I'd guess they are against it. Yet it is in the laws of Moses, if the woman is found guilty of adultery ... So there is a disagreement about it in scripture. How will Jesus solve this? Surely he cannot, they win, and Jesus is humiliated. The Pharisees, like many of us, could be cruel in their adherence to the law.

The text doesn't say he was in the middle of healing. It implies it. So, maybe this discussion will be a different form of hearing - if not for the Pharisees (they do not learn according to the scriptures) but maybe for Jesus' audience, including us. When the Pharisees come testing Jesus, it is a sign that we must pay attention to what follows.
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Healing and Gratitude

Matthew 19:1-2 - And when Jesus finished these sayings (about forgiveness), he went away from Galilee and entered into the region of Judah beyond the Jordan; and large crowds followed him and he healed them there.

Healing. One thing occurred to me this morning about healing. In general, not in regard to this but I'm leaving it here anyway. Jesus never asks for payment and as far as I have heard, no one tries to pay him. Something to look into ...

For today, though, I realized upon reading that I (and probably many others) visualize Jesus