I’ve been reading Strength to Love, a collection of Martin Luther King Jr’s sermons. It is a fantastic and challenging book. A book to make a person uncomfortable, especially a white woman who has never had to face many of these situations. I have read it before, but not from where we are now. Now, I have a better understanding – not perfect by any means – of how it feels to be discriminated against. Four years of the former guy and this last year with Republicans echoing his nonsensical election fraud talking points have me on edge. I’m sure many others as well. It has given me a new lens through which to read Dr. King.
The sermon that is challenging me at the moment is on Matthew 5:43-45, which is part of the Sermon on the Mount. Here is the text:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven.”
He begins by discussing the how of loving or enemies. For Dr. King, it starts with forgiveness. He has three points: forgiveness does not mean walking away from the person, recognizing that all of us are a mixture of good and bad motives, and ‘love’ means God’s love for us, agape, not liking or approving of a person.
Dr. King then discusses the why. His three reasons are that hate multiplies hate, adding to the chaos and confusion. This is the source of his famous quote: Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that. Second, hate scars our souls and changes us. Not for the better. It victimizes both the hated and the hater. Third, hate cannot transform an enemy into a friend. This is always King’s goal, to keep the relationship open and transformative. Finally, we love our enemies … so that we may be children of our father in heaven. If we want to be children of our father in heaven, we must love our enemies. Simple as that.
Two points that Dr. King makes challenge me. He makes it clear that we cannot say ‘forgive and forget’ or have nothing more to do with the person. Since his goal is to keep relationships, neither of these are an option. As I read it, I kept coming up with all kinds of scenarios in which this is not wise: abuse, domestic violence, stalking, etc. As if King knew nothing about these.
Maybe the answer here is to see it from a different angle. Take the former president; by all accounts he was severely abused (emotionally rather than physically) as a child and young adult. His not dealing with the aftermath in a healthy way led to who he is today. As a person who grew up in a similar household, I can relate to that. I too was headed on a similar path. I probably wasn’t as broken as he was and is. I still had a spark of desire to change. With a lot of help and support from many people, I was able to work my way out of the hell that I was living in. The former president has not been able to do that.
I have no relationship with him, but I think the same approach would work in people who may not be enemies but who are difficult to deal with. Sometimes, that connection makes it possible to see them from a different angle, and thus to start the process of forgiveness.
I feel the need to point out that although King wants to keep the relationship open, there is no need to keep the relationship the same. If I am married to an abuser, I don’t have to stay married to keep the relationship open. Which makes me wonder how King defines an ongoing relationship. What if the other person declines to talk with us? Does keeping an open mind about the relationship, even if we are not speaking or interacting regularly, satisfy his ideals? I like to think it does.
He ends this section with the thought that our ability to forgive determines our ability to love. That is a challenge!
The second thing that challenges me is the assertion that everyone has good and bad in them. Again, look at the former guy. I am hard put to find anything good in him. Maybe he is too. On reflection, there’s no requirement that we be able to see the good in others, or the bad for that matter. I think I am prone to categorizing people as one or the other. It’s so easy to do that, but it limits our vision. Taking it as true, seeing it from a different angle, would inspire me to look for it. That too is a challenge.
Of course, the thing that will make it possible to rise to these challenges is God’s love along with the love and support of others around us. It would be difficult to see good in others if I didn’t already feel that God sees good in me. I’m speaking for myself here, but maybe you can relate. It would be difficult to stay in relationship with someone determined to hurt me without such support. For me, it would be impossible.
But loving our neighbor asks us to go one further. It asks us to see God’s love for our enemy, to see them from a different angle, God’s Angle. If we can feel God’s love for ourselves, we theoretically can transfer that love to our enemy. That is our goal. Why? So that we may be children of our father and mother in heaven.
May you be challenged to see things from God’s angle today.
B
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