Betrayal and Belonging

Matthew 26:16 – And from that moment, [Judas] began to look for an opportunity to betray him.

I’ve been thinking about this verse all week. There’s something about betrayal that seems to be part of the human condition. If I asked you to think of a betrayal, any betrayal, it wouldn’t take long for you to think of an example; either by a public figure or in your own life. Perhaps, like me, you have been on both sides of this equation; you’ve been betrayed and have betrayed someone. It’s especially heinous, because being betrayed implies that there was previously some level of trust. There needs to be some sense of security in who we are and who our friends and family are. Some level of belonging to each other, some level of community and intimacy.

And that leads me to think about the president. He has betrayed his oath of office. He has betrayed any trust anyone has had in him. He has betrayed the American people. He has handed us over to be slaughtered; either by the virus, policy violence, or by police killings. Everything I read about his behavior tells me he’s doing this because he doesn’t belong anywhere. And it is his greatest desire to belong.

Although Jesus welcomed all who came to him, Judas somehow didn’t feel that he belonged either. Did he want power and money and suddenly realize that Jesus was not the way to that? If so, he wasn’t alone. All the disciples are portrayed as thinking of Jesus as an earthly king rather than a spiritual one. Suddenly, Judas’s plans and goals were not within reach as he had thought. Maybe, just maybe, he himself felt betrayed? Thus he no longer belonged.

Belonging, that sense of security in our place in our relationships, is more than a desire; it is a human need. We all need to belong somewhere, to someone, to a family or community. Because belonging includes loving each other. Without love, the longing to be loved is unrequited. If we are unable to love ourselves, our God, or our neighbor, we will not enjoy the feeling of belonging. To anything or anybody. Not even to God.

Which reminds me of gangs. I learned a lot about gangs while I lived in Chicago. Young people join gangs for several reasons. Selling drugs is good money. Others were forced into it – survival. Yet, the most surprising reason to me was that gangs were a community. Within the gang, friendships were deep. They looked out for each other. They loved each other – even remembering their slain brothers and sisters in rituals. Yes, they were dangerous to the rest of us and to other gangs, even to themselves. But membership in a gang offered something some of these young people had never had – belonging.

Whatever led to Judas or the president feeling betrayed themselves, whatever led to their sense of not belonging, they were and are incapable of doing the one thing that would give them their desire; something even gang members were capable of doing: loving another person. Judas doesn’t belong with the disciples, and the president doesn’t belong anywhere. All they know is betrayal; how to cheat, steal, and lie to get what they want. They don’t understand the strength of love, because they can’t bring themselves to be vulnerable to being hurt by another. So they lash out in any way they can. Handing over a troublemaker to the Romans or abusing power by abusing people on twitter. They imagine themselves to be wise and strong, but to those of us who are even a little wise and strong, they look like confused children clinging to anything that promises relief.

 None of this excuses their behavior. Judas held himself accountable. By all accounts he hung himself in remorse. On the other hand, the president still needs to be held accountable. Having known the feeling of not belonging, I wonder if that is punishment enough. I mean, it is clear that he is deeply unhappy. I imagine he is living in his own personal hell now.

Yet, it really isn’t enough is it? Because there must be consequences, not just for the president, but for all those who commit the kinds of betrayals that he does. When I’m caught speeding, I get a ticket. It must be the same with all our elected officials.

There must be a way toward justice and wholeness in American life. I think it starts with recognizing that we belong to each other. And it grows when we act on that knowledge by respecting each other, caring for each other, loving each other.

Let’s contribute to justice and wholeness in our lives and in the world today; let’s practice belonging to each other.

B