Let the children come to me

Matthew 19:13-15 – And they were bringing children to him to put his hands on them and pray. But the disciples scolded them. But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me for the kingdom of heaven belongs the such as these.” And he put his hands on them and went his way.

Two things stood out to me these past few days reading while the internet was down. First, the disciples trying to control access to Jesus. In this passage, they are fixing something that isn’t broken. I can relate. Perhaps they thought Jesus wouldn’t like it. Or that children were not worth his time and energy. I like the way Jesus patiently corrects him here. Which leads us to …

Thing number two. The kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. This is not a sentimental statement about how open children are and how innocent they are. People then did not idolize childhood as we do; these kids were not innocent. They had most likely seen and experience violence, death, horrible disfigurement. Life was brutal! No, it because children are the most vulnerable members of society, according to Jesus.

Many children did not live to adulthood, which is why having children was important. Many didn’t make it even to age five due to disease, violence, and just plain bad luck. Jesus is saying the most vulnerable among us own the kingdom of heaven. Who are the most vulnerable among us today? Poor people, black people, people of color, oppressed people, the elderly, disabled people, and again children. And for the disciples this was yet another radical statement. Children, being least useful, were the least important members of society. Of course they were loved, which is why their parents were bringing them forward. But in the grand scheme, they came behind men and women. (I am thinking more of Roman society, not sure about Jewish.)

Jesus is telling them they need to reorient their thinking. Do we?

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Eunuchs for the Kin-dom

Matthew 19:12 - "There are those who were born eunuchs, they are those who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are those who've made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this, receive it."

I can imagine the disciples freaking out over the eunuch thing too. Taking it a little far aren't you Jesus? I think his point here is that some people are called to celibacy. I was thinking about how celibacy and no primary relationship would give a person more freedom to choose to follow Jesus more closely. There would be no kids, no obligations, well, at least fewer. One's time would be one's own as one wished. 

Marriage certainly gets in the way of that! Discussions, arguments, decisions, quality time, all take away from the time we have available for Jesus. Yet, marriage can also be a way to serve. The primary and most-often used analogy for the relationship between God and Israel was marriage after all. And, he did just say that marriage was important enough not to mess with in the form of divorcing and taking a new wife. ...

The poor disciples - everything is new, nothing is solid anymore, and now even marriage is not the guarantee to heaven.
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Celibacy

Matthew 19:11 - "Not everyone can receive these words; only those to whom they have been given."

Marriage was a stabilizing force in society. M, marriage marked one as respectable, an adult in many ways. Marriage and having children were the only life goal of most of Roman society. It was assumed people, especially rich people, would marry and have children. For the poorer people, children were necessary as help with whatever the family business was. For the rich, it meant an heir and one's legacy being passed on. Having children was seen as a way to keep wandering young men in check, not to mention young women. Who were seen as property, as I have mentioned.

In short, marriage was an important social tool. It was the respectable path for all in society who could possibly manage it. Yet, here is Jesus saying, "God does not call everyone to marriage." In doing so, he is again radicalizing the everyday life of his disciples. He is blowing their minds. Yet they are still speaking about two different things: the disciples comment was selfish and self-serving, Jesus comment was about God's call on our lives. Jesus uses their self-serving comment to make a point about who God is and what God might think about our society. God's thoughts are not our thoughts; and if they are, double check to make sure they have the same motive underpinning them.

So, here is where, probably for the first time ever, I have compassion for the disciples. Jesus comes along, calls them away from their everyday lives. Those lives that society has laid out for them and continually shows how hollow those lives were. And the disciples are depicted as slow-witted, hard-hearted, and "stiff-necked." But really, they're maybe just trying to find some solid ground in all this. It is very hard for us to really imagine how radical and subversive Jesus was for the time. And the disciples can't keep up.

But, let's take an analogous example: Trump supporters. Their world is changing way faster than that of the disciples and they feel like its being stolen by all the other people: black people, Jewish people, Muslims, Mexicans, people here without documentation, lbgtq people and women are now listened to and have more voice in society than ever - not enough but that's a topic for another day. This makes Trump supporters uncomfortable - they're no longer living in their cocoon of whiteness. They hear other languages being spoken - if not where they live, then when they travel. Fox News tells them to be afraid, and they are. They are losing their ground, just like the disciples. And like the disciples, they grab at anything that promises to bring it back. 

Change is hard; we humans don't like it one bit. Since the disciples are stand-ins for us, how are we trying to grab that safety and security of comfort. Jesus did not call us to be comfortable. How are we handling the changes our world is bringing? Are we blaming our fear on others, or are we going out and making peace with those who are afraid? Where are we holding on to our narrative and where are we accepting reality?
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Better Not

Matthew 19:10 - The disciples said to him, "If such is the relationship between a man and his wife, it is not profitable to marry."

Paraphrase, "What good is property if you cannot trade it in for a newer, better-working model some day?" Women were property, not really people - at least legally speaking.

Looking at it on the surface and assuming good faith by the author, Jesus has been telling them their hard hearts induced Moses to allow divorce. (BTW - that would be Moses making up a law, rather than it being handed down from God ...) Jesus tells them God makes marriages. In fact, marriage is the analogy the prophets used for Israels relationship with God. Marriage is sacred to God.

So Jesus says, "Hey, have a heart. Women are people and deserve our protection. Let's not throw them to the wolves because they no longer attract us," and the disciples, knowing that God thinks of their relationship as akin to marriage respond, "It's better not to marry." Wow. Of course, the question begging to be asked here: Was Matthew (the author) merely painting them to look bad? Was he trying to skewer society by putting its norms in the words of the disciples? How much is caricature and how much reality? Are they Types that Matthew's readers and listeners would recognize?

In any case, the conversation shows the chasm between Jesus' way of being and thinking and the disciples' way of being and thinking. The disciples and Jesus are using the same words, but they're not using them the same way; not talking about the same things. And, since the disciples are stand-ins for us, it demonstrates the chasm between our thinking and Jesus' thinking. This is true regardless of whether the disciples are portrayed realistically. We may not be as obtuse or incurious as the disciples, but neither are we as astute as Jesus. We are the people with hardened hearts, we are the people who treat others (esp. women and people of color) as objects rather than subjects with agency, and to the extent that we stray from focusing on God and God's Kin-dom, we are the people committing adultery. 

We are the people making decisions for our comfort and convenience. To what degree are your thoughts out of step with God's? Today I pray to be shown where my thinking and attitude are in error.
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Adultery

Matthew 19:9 - I say to you, "If anyone divorces his wife, except for cheating, and marries another commits adultery."

As I was reading this the other day, I was reminded that women were property then. Getting rid of an old model for a younger one has a long history among humans. Jesus saying then that divorcing was committing adultery was pretty radical. Revolutionary, you might say. He was saying that women are people. In many ways, this is still controversial today. 

On another topic this brings up: Marriage was the analogy that God used for his relationship with Israel. It was sacred and deeply profound. Ha! Breaking that bond was also committing adultery. Marriage, stable marriages were important for society and thus breaking them was frowned upon. Not always, if you were rich enough, you could just get another wife and keep the first. 

I'm the first one to see that divorce is sometimes necessary. Yet, I can also see the damage that not taking marriage and parenthood seriously does to people and families. I can see how the Israelites, with much smaller communities, would have recognized these things as well. 
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