Grace and Vulnerability

I am not sure if I've written on my latest epiphany on Grace and God's goodness. It's easy to think that God doesn't care - else why would there be suffering? Yet, I think this misses the point of original sin. We have free will, which includes the will to be greedy. The will to cater to our basest desires rather than our highest. The will to be selfish and take what rightfully belongs to others.

There is enough food, shelter, warmth and clothing to go around but we, not God, we choose to hoard these things. We choose to exploit other nations and people. We choose to put those with dark skin in ghettoes of our making - not theirs. Then we blame them because they protest. Or they attack us. But we, we are to blame. Every time we choose to not look or not listen to the truth. And we are all guilty. I think this is what Thomas Merton meant.

God provides enough; we hoard and hurt others out of fear and lack of trust. We are vulnerable and do not like the feeling so we make ourselves less vulnerable at the expense of others. I am feeling this vulnerability now. We spent a lot of money getting our apartment ready to have others move in. Then they chose not to. So we are strapped and unsure what comes next. We have decided to move to Cleveland, yet we need to make sure we have shelter and jobs. That takes money.

We will be talking about it tomorrow. I will be focusing today on abundance. God's gracious abundance. And grace. For each other and for others. How can we continue to be generous when it feels we do not have enough?

Gunmen

So, I was reading a website the other day and I saw an article about the terrorist brothers who shot and killed twelve people, kidnapped several others, robbed a gas station and caused the city of Paris a few days of panic. They called him a gunman.

Unfortunately, here in America, that has very romantic and very positive associations. Why would we use it for those who kill and terrorize others? Is our vocabulary so wanting that we have no other appropriate and less romantically loaded words? How about murderer, killer, even with alleged in front they are more accurate.

Terrorist, murderer, killer, kidnapper. We are afraid to call things what they are.

Yet.

We also have issues with name-calling in this country. We love to call others terrorist for supporting democratic policies. We call women especially nasty things when they speak out. We terrorize them when they disagree with us. Yes, I am a woman and I am using we. Because we are all guilty when we do not speak out.

What is the answer? How can we negotiate conversations when our partners sling accusations and exaggerations? Does that make it harder to call out people for what they've done? More problematic? What about when someone says or does something blatantly racist? Do we call them out? I've heard some talking heads argue that is 'playing the race card.' It's like some people have turned the meanings of words upside down to suit their own purposes.

But, that does not stop things from being what they are. We need to stop calling terrorists gunmen; thereby romanticizing them. We need to start calling society out on its racism, sexism, hatred and injustice. Lord, lead the way.

Who has the power?

Epiphany

It's Epiphany, the day the wise men finally made it to Jesus - two years after his star appeared. Light in the dark sky. And the sky was dark then. Those of us who live in cities have a hard time imagining how truly dark it was. Especially in the winter, when it was long as well.

My heart can be a dark place - but only parts of it. Many of the tumors and scar tissues have been removed, cleaned or healed. My life has never been easy but mostly not especially hard. I've lived through a lot of darkness. Today I choose not to add to the darkness already out there. Like policemen killing young, black men without facing any consequences; the war on women the Republicans seem to be waging; gang shootings; Syria; Palestine; Iraq; those last three the doing of my own government; torture.

The thing is God/Christ/Yahweh/Allah is there hurting alongside the mourning, alongside the tortured - the raped, alongside the homeless, the hungry, the lost and the forgotten. The least of these. This makes me think of The Night Ministry. Perhaps it is time to put away my wounded pride and go out with them again. They need people to sign up. The gathering of light for those who are truly in a dark place. How will they know God is there unless we go out to them?

All this pricking is getting downright uncomfortable: TNM, Nora's lay chaplains, the Church on the Flats. I wonder if anyone goes down there now? To let them know God is with them and loves them?

Meals and Worship

So, I have been reading a book on worship by a past McCormick professor. The section that speaks to me most today is that on the eucharist. The original intent was truly a feast. It is no longer a feast. I wonder how we could bring that back to our worship? Compared to a feast, our worship is very sterile - non human. Eric seems to think doing things would be a good beginning. I think it would be great to include meals and discussion in his plans.

I remember going to Louisville Seminary's chapel and the communion table was full to overflowing with food. It was truly a feast. Not a communal meal because we did not eat together, but a feast. Rogers Park has a meal after worship. It to is a feast but not a real meal in that the cliques stay together. It is not welcoming to the stranger.

Eric was here helping as I was reading and I just knew we had to do something to celebrate our friendship in Christ. He is very intense but I think that is just what RPPC needs.

So how can I reinterpret worship so that it is a feast? How can Peter and I incorporate this into our marriage? How can we host others and be hosted in the same way. In a weird way going to the kitchen is very much like being at eucharist because everyone is so happy to be there! Every one is grateful and joyful. The joyful feast of God.

I'm going to have to rethink my ideas of Holy Communion. ...
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